Madurodam (AKA Wee Netherlands)

While in The Hague, The Netherlands,* we walked up to the northwestern edge of the city to visit Madurodam, or as I like to call it, Wee Netherlands. 

(*Why must this country insist on including 'The' in their names? Do they think there is another, inferior Hague or Netherlands, and they want to insist these are THE proper ones? And while I'm on a rant, I still have no idea why the country is sometimes called Holland and other times called The Netherlands. Is there a difference? I am uninformed and confused… I shall ask Google…)

I AM GODZILLA!!!

Madurodam was impressive! I am sure it would have been even more impressive had I seen and/or known more than just a few of these buildings. But impressive, none the less. And for the first time EVER, I felt massive! I really had to resist the urge to stomp around like Godzilla.

Well, truth be told, I did stomp around like Godzilla on several occasions, but I did't smash any buildings, people, or cars. Promise! 

Tiny canal, cars, buildings...

There were lots of wee cityscapes, roundabouts, buildings, and cathedrals. You can't see it in pictures, but a lot of the scenes had moving pieces, such as the cars and boats.

Tiny roundabouts, monuments...

Another attempt at a selfie. You can see how tiny the buildings are, especially with the people standing next to the building on the left. 

Tiny buildings, big ass face...

Lots of farming, canal-filled landscapes with wee windmills. 

Tiny windmills...

Tiny windmill and a bottle of HotToddy Sauce

And who doesn't love a parade! 

Tiny parade...

Even the trees were small bushes, trained to look like trees. Some of them were probably fake, but the ones you can see up close were real!

Tiny… um… something? Maybe lakeside resort?

Tiny industrial complex with cathedral in the mix

Again, if I lived or knew more about The Netherlands, I would have probably recognized a lot of the various cityscapes (as above) and older village squares (as below).  

Tiny village square

I especially enjoyed the tiny canals with working canal boats floating back and forth amongst all of the canals. And the cars of various makes and models. A lot of work obviously went into building Madurodam! 

Tiny canal 

Another tiny canal scene with moving boats

I need to find out what fairy-tale castle this is! With it's little red shutters and moat, it looks straight out of a white princess Disney dream! 

Tiny moated castle

And then we found the festival grounds. If you fed the display a Euro you could play DJ, complete with spinning turn tables, which made the music play and wee festival goers dance (jiggle in place). I overheard one Dutch visitor explain to his English-speaking pal, "Oh, look! The Netherland's chief export is represented - EDM (electronic dance music) and MDMA (ecstasy)!" 

Tiny EDM (electronic dance music) concert with actual moving ravers 

Around the corner from the rave / festival, was a weird story teller sitting on a rock with people listening to his story. The story was in Dutch*, so I have no idea what he was saying, but his head would spin and neck would grow occasionally. Very strange, indeed! 

(*And why is the language called Dutch, and not Netherlandian or Hollandish? I'll leave that gripe for you to ponder... )

Creepy-ass, tiny, neck stretching story teller (file under WTF category)

And then, just before you exit through the gift shop, is a wee Schiphol Airport. The airplanes taxi'd around the tarmac, but what I really thought was cool was the conveyor belt of luggage (under the glass, at the tail of the Singapore Airlines plane) - with moving wee luggage! Some luggage was pristine, some was old and beat up, some luggage was piled on top of each other, while some luggage was spread out. The level of detail was so impressive! 

So, if you find yourself in The Hague when absolutely everything save a few restaurants and the museums is closed, go to Madurodam. It's kitschy, but fun! 

Tiny airport

And finally, because inquiring minds want to know (well, at least my mind wanted to know), here is what The Google said when I asked it "What is the Difference between Holland and The Netherlands:"

The Netherlands is often referred to as Holland. Nevertheless, the official name of the country is the (Kingdom of the) Netherlands. The Netherlands consists out of twelve provinces. Two of them, North and South Holland, are the two provinces that together make Holland.

The more you know, people. The more you know...